


The Real Winners

by Jubalii



Category: Coco (2017)
Genre: Drabble, Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-04
Updated: 2018-04-04
Packaged: 2019-04-18 03:29:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,111
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14204055
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jubalii/pseuds/Jubalii
Summary: prompt: “don’t lie, please. i can’t take it”Héctor's been framed... but who would DO such a heinous thing?!





	The Real Winners

**Author's Note:**

> from my prompt post on tumblr.   
> I think the prompt was supposed to be angsty, but I found a way to inject some lighthearted family antics!

“Don’t lie to me, Héctor. I can’t take it.”

“I promise,  _diosa_ —I’m not lying! I’ve been framed!” The man was nearly on his knees before her, hands tangled in her purple skirts. “Believe me,  _mi amor_!” She put her hand beneath his cheek, lifting his face to the light.

“I’ll ask you once more,” she said softly, her thumb running the length of his lower socket. His jaw wobbled, leaning longingly into her touch. “Did you do it?”

“No,  _mi amor_. I wish I had, so that I could put your mind at ease, but it’s not me!” His words  _rang_ enough of sincerity, but who else would be so bold? She turned to the rest of her family, seated at the long table like condemned men waiting for the noose.

“Who did it?” She looked over their faces, her hand resting to pet her husband’s hair. He pressed his face into her skirts, soaking up her benediction as he continued to hug her knees. “Who did it, and then blamed Héctor?” She narrowed on Julio. “It was you!”

“Ay!” His head slipped into his chest cavity. “N-n-n-no, Mamá Imelda! I swear, i-i-it wasn’t me!”

“Show me your ribcage, Julio.” Imelda drew herself to full height. “Prove your innocence.”

“It wasn’t him, Mamá.” Coco’s soft voice rang out confidently. “I can vouch for my Julito.” He grinned nervously at her, still trembling on the seat. Imelda turned to her; she hadn’t suspected her darling daughter for a moment, but Coco’s sweet smile could often be misleading.

“And how so?” Her expression slipped into something more mischievous, eyes shifting from her mother as she grinned.

“His hands were… somewhere else,” she admitted with a giggle, too innocent to be anything but unchaste. Victoria rolled her eyes, slumping in her seat as if she could physically avoid the embarrassment her parents caused her. Julio looked sheepishly at his wife, a small smile twitching at the sides of his skull, but didn’t refute the argument. Héctor pulled himself out of his own wife’s skirts to glare at him, and his skull went straight into the collar of his shirt once more. “Oh, Papá,” Coco laughed.

“But then, who—” Imelda stopped herself, her face blank. Her jaw twitched, head turning ominously to stare down at the end of the table. “You.” Felipe stopped mid-bite, the cake falling from his fork. He and his twin glanced at each other quickly. They  _seemed_ to be the most innocuous out of the group, the only ones acting as if they had nothing to hide.

“Me?” Felipe repeated, his tone slightly higher than usual. Imelda stepped out of the tangle of Héctor’s arms, pointing directly at the two of them.

“ _You_.” She stalked slowly down the table, a cat with two mice in her sights. “Where is it?” Neither of them answered, and her palm slammed to the table between their plates.  _“Where is it?!”_ Oscar cleared his throat, brushing his plate aside and lacing his fingers on the table.

“Of what do you speak, dear sister?” he asked, voice rolling smoothly over the words. Rosita leaned away from them, taking her own plate piled high with her third helping of sweets. The siblings stared at each other for a long moment, Imelda looking between the two of them.

“I know you,” she hissed, head bending down to their levels. The cat was setting up for the pounce, and the whole table knew it. “You stole it.”

“Stole?” Felipe had the audacity to look offended. He turned to his brother. “ _Stole_ , she says!”

“How bold!”

“How assuming!” They turned back to face her.

“Do we look like  _thieves_ to you?” they asked in unison. Oscar reached up to point back at her, elbow resting on the table.

“Besides, you’re the one who—” Imelda stared down at his sleeve. From the wristband, the corner of a brightly colored piece of paper protruded. She was silent. Felipe grimaced, scratching at his chin. Rosita stared at him, insulted, her hand over her heart. Oscar chuckled, poking the paper back into his sleeve with a small, tight smile.

“Well,” Felipe said, putting down his fork.

“Well,” Imelda whispered. Oscar rubbed a thumb over his lips, smiling at Rosita before putting both hands flat on the table.

“Well,” he agreed. “ _We_ have the most money… so that means we  _win_!” At the last word, he and Felipe pushed their chairs back, leaping from the table and racing towards the stairs. Imelda had her shoe off in half the time, chucking it after them but missing; it hit the doorframe and tumbled over Victoria’s head, smacking into the window before landing lopsided on the sewing machine. Pepita peered one yellow eye through the window, listening to the ruckus.

“That’s  _not how you play_!” Imelda snarled after them, shaking her fists.

“Yes, it is!” Oscar called back from the second floor. “I have all the money!”

“And I have the railroads!” Felipe added gleefully.

“But I had a railroad…” Coco looked through her cards, frowning. “How—they took it!” She crossed her arms, huffing at her uncles’ cheek.

“You… you…  _cheaters_!” Imelda stomped her foot, wincing when her bare bones hit the floor. She sighed when there was no response, rubbing her eye sockets.

“¿ _Mi amor_?” Héctor climbed to his feet, putting his hands on her shoulders.

“Mamá always said they’d grow up to rob a bank if we didn’t reel them in,” Imelda grumbled. “In any case,  _this_ is why we don’t do game nights, Héctor. It’s too… unsettling.”

“I liked it,” Coco told Julio, who chuckled weakly. She ran her cannon over the wooden edge of the table, bumping into his airplane. Imelda smiled at them before turning to her husband.

“Why must you be so dramatic?” She rolled her eyes as he pulled a long face.

“You found money missing and immediately singled me out, Imelda. That’s not fair.”

“You—and  _those_ two, I suppose—are the only ones reckless enough to attempt stealing from me.” Héctor laughed, pulling her into a tight embrace.

“The only thing I claim to have stolen from  _you_ is your heart.” He kissed her cheek, nuzzling into her hair.

“Héctor…  _por favor_ ….” She looked with embarrassment to the table; Coco watched avidly, even as Julio and her daughter tried their best to  _not_ see. “Not in front of the children,” she murmured, grabbing his hands before he could slide them lower. “L-later— _H_ _é_ _ctor_!” she gasped, when he hit a ticklish spot.

“Ugh.” Victoria put her purse token in the middle of the table, standing up with a grunt of disgust. “I’m going to bed.”

**Author's Note:**

> Afterword:   
> Family’s that play board games together cheat, lie, steal, and disown each other before it’s over. That’s half the fun!   
> The Rivera Family’s board game is a little old and include some dead pieces (haha), so here’s a list: 
> 
> Imelda: Iron  
> Héctor: lantern  
> Coco: Cannon   
> Julio: Airplane  
> Oscar: Car  
> Felipe: wheelbarrow  
> Victoria: purse  
> Rosita: thimble 
> 
> **I’m always the dog when we play. 
> 
> Then again, I’ve been banned from ever playing family Monopoly because I took the railroads and electric company before trying to sell them at exuberantly high prices. Apparently they don’t like it when I actually try to… you know… become a monopoly.


End file.
